I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Dick very happy bro
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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