if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i already hear my dad disowning me
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
