so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
