Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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