i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
so much tequila, so little girl.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
