Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
