I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
