WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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