who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
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It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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