Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
