I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
