True but thats because hes a fetus.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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