My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
