Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
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i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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