Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
