so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
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