He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
