Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
