You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
the condom got lost in my hair
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
