wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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