I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
