I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
everyone is single if you try hard enough
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
