i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
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we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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