Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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