Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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