So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
