Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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