Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
