Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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