If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
you will always have a special place in my vag
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
