i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
