Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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