He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
