you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
