Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
as a side note pls kill me
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
