Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
