My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
only if we run a train.
done.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
