Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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