what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
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I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
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Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
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