apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
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