I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
