how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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