Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize