thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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