i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
