the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
