i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We are two peas in an std pod
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
