i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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