hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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