I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize