do herpes really smell.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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