ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
