DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
me + whiskey = a bad person
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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