My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My ass is underappreciated
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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