"it" just moved
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
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