just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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