so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
