I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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