your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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